Verbal Gymnastics, or His Head Up His Ass? You Decide

I tweeted on January 2 that Romney would be the nominee and that Barry Soetoro would be reelected President. I'm half right so far, we'll see how the rest plays out. Those of you who dont know who Barry Soetoro is, that is your homework assignment.

Now, on to the matter of this blog. How did I know Romney would be the nominee? Very simple, both parties have the ability to nominee the worst possible candidate with the "next in line" system. That system has been in play since the two party system began. The most qualified person should be who is chosen, not the one who only qualification is he hasn't died since the last nomination process. John Kerry was chosen that way in 2004. The story was released that Kerry was the only person in his freshmen class of 1984 who had not ran for the presidency. He was next in line. Bob Dole and John McCain were the nominees in 1996 and 2008, respectively for the same reason. What do we call people who get the nomination because they are next in line? Losers.

Bob Dole was a horrible candidate, as are all of my examples because they are running from their own history. Dole was seen as mean and with a temper because of the outbursts he gave while running for the Vice-Presidency with Ford in 1976. John Kerry ran from his anti-war protesting past, John McCain, even though he may have been a war hero, was as liberal or even more so than his democratic foe. Romney's past is the same: the health care program labled "Obamacare" is modeled after the one Romney passed when Governor of Massachusetts.

The individual mandate that has been declared unconstitutional and that he swears he will appeal is the same one he was for and whole heartedly endorsed as governor.

Mitt, if you're proud of the stupid thing, be a man and admit it. Stop trying to do "verbal gymnastics."

America, even if Romney wins, we're in for more of the same.

The Old Numbers Game

On May 8, we recognized VE Day, or for those of you who are too young to remember, or don’t care about such matters, that is the day we declared Victory in the Europe part of WWII, upon Germany’s surrender. In Aug comes VJ Day when Japan surrendered, officially ending the war. February 14 is Valentine’s Day, July 4^th is Independence Day. That is followed by Mother’s Day, Father’s Day, and the list goes on.

These are all just dates and random reasons to get together with people we don’t see often because we don’t like, to spend money we don’t have buying things we don’t need to celebrate because our calendars tell us to. Does that make sense?

Every month, every week, every day is National Fill in the Blank something. We celebrate National Biscuit Week, National Brownie Month, or National Gravy Day while bemoaning the fact we can’t get in those new jeans.

Now to add more to the mix the search engine Google routinely puts what they call a Google Doodle at the top of their page. The Doodle is a drawing that incorporates the word Google in it while still being a picture. For example a few weeks ago the word Google was coming out of a zipper. The reason? It was the birthday of the inventor of the zipper. My first question is do I get him a card with metal teeth? My second question is, if Google does not give equal time to the inventor of buttons, can they be sued for not giving equal time?

The bigger picture of course is why is this information being retained and regurgitated? Why do we need a certain date on a calendar to thank your Mom or Dad or be grateful a war ended?

Must EVERY date feel important? Must every minute, every day, every month be special. If so, that means none of them are special. We as humans inevitably transfer human traits to non human things: talking to our plants, our fish, and our dogs like they were people and yes I am guilty of that as well.

We as human want to feel special, want to feel we have a purpose, so we assume animals, cars, and even days and months must want that as well.

Decide what is important because you say it is important, not because you’re told it is.

Charles Colson 1931-2012

                Upon learning of Richard Nixon’s enemies list, Vice-President Gerald Ford said, “anyone who needs a list to keep track of their enemies has too many enemies.” The man who created the list and then used it as a list of people for the president to get even with, died earlier this month: his name was Charles Colson.

                Colson was, in a lot of ways, the modern day Apostle Paul. He spent the first half of his life screaming about the bad guys and the last half of his life spending hundreds of teaching and ministering in prisons. Who was Charles Colson?

                He was born Charles Wendell Colson in October 1931 and after receiving a B.A. from Brown University in 1953, became a Captain in the Marine Corp. He never got to hang out with what I would call ‘Blue Collar’ until 1973, he was always an officer, or a partner in a law firm, or as was the case in Washington, Special Counsel for the President.  The title meant that he would go to the White House with Nixon in 1969 and just be paid for hanging out with the guy, which BTW, is the ONLY way I would have hung out with Nixon.

                It was Watergate that ended one life and began the start of his real one.

                I have always tried to see something beneficial that happened in every presidential administration. To be honest, there are some I am studying with a microscope in hopes of finding something. In the Nixon case, it was Colson.

                He came from a very puritanical background and was absolutely convinced he was incorruptible. The 205 days he spent in prison convinced him otherwise.

                His other life began in 1973 as he awaited sentencing. A friend gave him a copy of Mere Christianity by C.S. Lewis. As he read, Colson began to see his arrogance, his piety, his sin. He was to have served up to 7 year sentence, but it was commuted. That was the first example of God working in my Brother Chuck’s life. He promised his fellow prisoners he would not forget them and thus began, in 1976, Prison Fellowship Ministries.

                For 37 years, Colson ministered to the prisoners, telling his stories, letting them know that we are all sinners, but also that we are all forgiven.

                He also over the years wrote 30 books. I know that Colson was a lawyer, but he explained theology better than more theologians. His thought process was a lot like mine, so his conclusions gave me a few “well, Duh,” moments and have brought me along in my faith.

                Charles Colson, thank you for your work for the Kingdom. I’ll thank you in person later.

Random Thoughts

I’m most comfortable outside my comfort level-which would be funny if it weren’t true, but consider the following.

1-I have a stutter-it’s slight and I’ve learned how to control it, so of course the subject I picked for my Bachelor’s Degree was Communications. I’ve learned what words trigger it, so I either trick my brain as it were before I say them, or I choose different words altogether.

2-I have an aversion to guns. I don’t hate them; I just don’t feel comfortable around them: so of course I enlisted in the army. I grew up in the south and the Drill Sergeants assumed I was weaned deer hunting. I’m also not a fan of violent movies-unless the violence drives the plot, which is rare. So picture a 40 year old with an aversion to guns and violence standing in the middle of 18-24 year old trying to blend in.

 

When I was a kid, I learned the verbal patter I now have by watching old movies.

I thought Groucho Marx was the funniest person that was ever-ever. I believe I can still quote most of his lines from any Marx Brothers movie. I don’t remember which one of their movies I first saw, but I remember the local PBS station every Saturday during the summer playing a Laurel and Hardy, a Marx Brothers, or W. C. Fields. These were treasures to a fat kid with no friends, and I developed the timing that unknowingly became me. I didn’t set out to become a Julius, a Bill Dukenfields, a Stanley Jefferson, or Groucho, W.C. Fields, and Stan Laurel respectively. My mustache is not made of grease paint, but I’m able to go into a whimsical wordiness that would woo. Thanks Groucho.

In Cadence!

In my little epistle via the World Wide Web, I have endeavored to put a whimsical or a theological spin on things I am thinking. Today’s capsule is a rant. All that read pass this point buckle up.

I am a member of the Ohio Army National Guard, and have been since 2008. I have learned many things since my enlistment: none of them useful. I have learned how to wear a beret in the shower. I have learned there is a reason the army chow hall (known as the DFAC) has hot sauce at the end of the line. I have learned if you walk through a room full of higher ranks than you, carry a clipboard-none of them will stop you.

I have been trying since September to transfer to a Tennessee unit-that is where I live now. My Ohio unit is the same unit that took six months to realize I was there. I mean I was still getting paid but I was never on any roster: so I knew this would not be painless.

However, there are hard and fast rules you learn when you raise your right hand.

1) If the not in the contract, the recruiter never said it

2) Mother Army is always right.

Now knowing these two rules, I turned in my gear in November-but February they realized it was there.

With the timeless logic that only someone brainwashed to absolutely follow orders will understand, I have now been transferred from Springfield, OH to –Springfield, OH. Pulling me out of one slot and into another is technically a transfer and if I had wanted a transfer to Tennessee I see now I should have moved to FL.

Here comes problem #2-I am undeployable.-so I am being deployed. I have approximately 13 months t fix my broken back and make it as if it never happened. I just need to order a new one from the Army. I wonder what form I will need?

My MOS (that’s how JOB is spelled in the military) is computer repair and I was the first one ever at my unit. Being first is not always a good thing. Imagine your success rate if you tried to cross the San Francisco Bay but you got there first: before the bridge builders  did-how much could you accomplish?

I had wanted t serve my country. I had bought into the BS of ‘being all you can be’ and ‘an Army of ONE,’ so here I was, broken and being ignored because there was nothing for me to do-so I was assigned to the Motor Pool.

‘Rule 3’ is no one does what their job is in the military.

We have a full staff of cooks, but civilian caterers feed us or we have box lunches. We have MP’s who the only time I see them carry weapons is when they are guarding the bathroom (sorry, ‘latrine’) during our monthly drug tests and me who as a computer tech was changing the bearings in Humvee tires.

Is it just me or should the logo of the Army be someone banging his head against the wall?

So-what do we have? We have billions of dollars being spent to train soldiers to do jobs they don’t do. We have more billions being spent on gear that we are issued that we never need and spending hours in training briefs where they tell us if it is cold outside to dress warmly so as to avoid becoming sick. This is called Cold Weather Training (CWT). Guess what Heat Training tells us to do-if it’s hot, drink water.

Anyone who has been in the military will know what I’m saying is true. Those who haven’t will be convinced I couldn’t possibly be serious.

And what are the up sides to being in a branch of the military? People seem to respect you: even if you sham out of every duty you are ever assigned, don’t follow orders, and spend your free time roasting ants with a magnifying glass, people still respect you. You also get paid, but what you get paid doesn’t relate to how much you know or what you do. You are paid according to rank-and all rank until you hear the E-4 grade is paid by TIG or time in grade. The military is very like a union in that as long as you show regardless of whether you do anything or not, you will get raises.

Is the military indispensible? Is it capable? Is it dependable? It depends on how we define each of these terms. It is indispensible in the fact that it will never be gotten rid of-like foot odor or ugly dresses. It is capable only if rated any other government run agency. Is it dependable? Well-its there and has always been there-is that dependable?

The military is another example of anyone can run anything if the expectations are hard to nail down. The National Guard has been around longer than the country-its slightly better organized and less in debt. Anyone can be an officer-and anyone has. Look at who this service has cranked out in the early days of the country. Andrew Jackson was a General and President: and rotten at both. He attacked the Indians and took their land only to have it returned by his superiors. So he became President and took it away again.

Then you had Zachary Taylor- he became President because he unquestioningly followed orders and declared war illegally, took land and gave it to America. So of course he’s perfectly equipped to lead a nation-being a bully must be a requirement.

But I’m not saying not to be a soldier either. Thomas Jefferson was never a soldier and he left the Governor’s mansion during the War for Independence to save his own skin: another fine example of leadership.

So what am I saying? I’m saying military doesn’t make or break-it does not change who you are-although sometimes it can have everlasting effects on you.

You don’t need to raise your hand to enlist-don’t buy into the lie.

My New Blog-If You Care

             Here’s my blog. Blah Blah Blah. Yada Yada Yada. Everyone is an expert when they’re blogging. You can lose weight overnight, look twenty years younger, feel better, have more free time, make a million investing, quit smoking, learn to cook better, knit, be a lumberjack, get your CDL, write a hit song, become President, have children and small dogs like you better if you would only read someone’s blog and follow their advice.

                The problem is, people are convinced that what they have to say is so important that everyone MUST want to read it. Even me: oh sure, I’ve scaled Mount Everest while cooking the perfect omelet and I have set the World Record for riding a Pogo Stick while blind folded, chewing gum and singing Ava Maria simultaneously, but even I am not always write, rite, um . . .right.

                The bloggers have become experts and are being mentioned in newspapers, radio and TV. One blogger was successful enough to have his blog turned into a show starring William Shatner.

                But what do we know as bloggers? We know what you know-but we have time to write it down and since it’s online it MUST be true.

                If you read in a blog the moon was made of Edam instead of Swiss cheese would you believe it?

                Would it be plausible that global warming is caused by the incessant typing of billions of bloggers cranking out thousands of words hundreds of times a day? Or is it just caused by the sun?

                There was an old theory that said if you put 100 monkeys in front of 100 typewriters for 100 years-one of them would write a Shakespeare play. Could the same be said for blogs? Would one of them type a blog worth reading?

                We can “like” them on Facebook, retweet on Twitter and follow on YouTube. We can get updates on our Blackberries and Droids. We can upload, download, live chat, text, Skype, and having streaming audio. But is there anything anywhere being said that NEEDS to be liked, tweeted, followed, updated, uploaded, downloaded, or streamed live?

                Before the 1980’s only Universities had computers and they were the size of a building. Now people read books on their Kindle while ordering their coffees and their small pastry item. The term “Google” is now synonymous with looking something up. Comments made by bloggers were used on newscasts during the last Presidential campaign: most of the people blogging have very limited life experience.

                Which brings me back to my original point: anyone can have a blog and say anything. If I say that Sarah Jessica Parker looks good to win this year’s Kentucky Derby does it make it a valid argument?

                From Anywhere, America-this is Jerry ‘the Whimsical Wordsmith’ and if you see it written here and then see it repeated as fact-its news to me.

                Goodnight.

The Long Walk to Socialism is Now a Short Hike

I want your vote. I'm running for anything-promising everything-saying nothing: at double speed.

There is no denying our country is not long for this world. The 2012 Presidential election has been in campaign mode since 2008. If you are looking at the candidates as a conservative Christian, and I am, here's the future I'm seeing.

On the Republican side we have Mitt Romney. This is the person who as governor passed the health care plan that President Barry modeled his after. When you pull up Romney's site, the banner across the top proclaims, “we have a moral responsibility to not spend more than we take in.” Romney is using morality to define simple common sense issues. He claims to be a great businessman, so maybe he should simply say “as a businessman, it only makes sense to not spend less than we take in,” or something along those lines. To say that overspending is due to morality is offensive. But Romney is a Mormon, so he probably does not know what the Bible says, since the god he prays to wrote his own book. But my guess is, he will be the nominee because this is what the media wants, and like it or not, the media has picked our candidates for the last twenty years.

Then we have Ron Paul who is so nutty that squirrels are trying to capture him. He has said he will cut $1 Trillion from our budget if elected. How will he do that you ask? Very simply, it will come from the military. He will begin the dismantling of what keeps us semi-safe. He believes we don't need military bases on foreign soil, we pull those, the world comes looking for us. We also have no business defending ourselves so we need to arm ourselves if he's elected, it's all us, there will be no them.

Next is Rick Perry who I want to like. I want him to tell the others candidates in the debates to shut the heck up or he's gonna shoot them. I was not enthusiastic about the last Texas Governor we had, but he as strong on defense and told everyone unashamedly that Jesus Christ was the person he most admired. Bush also came across as a real person, Perry does none of that.

Then we have Newt Gingrich. I have heard from different avenues that Gingrich is a smart guy. One of those who have said that is Rush Limbaugh, however, Newt made Rush an honorary member of the 1994 House of Representatives, and they're friends. Rush is bias. I know he's taught some classes, and written some books. That does not make him smart, that makes him good with words. If being “smart” was so good this country would not be in the hand basket it's in. The current occupant of 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue is supposedly smart, and he's one of the dumbest creatures God ever gave life to. Newt believes in Global Warming and Cap and Trade, which make him no smarter than the guy in the House now.

Next is Rick Santorum. He's supposedly a believer and has the word “Faith” written allover his website and he does thank God in his speeches, but so do Rock Stars and Rappers. I am yet undecided on him. I want to hear more.

Finally, John Huntsman. He was an ambassador in Barry's administration. And he's a Republican? Yeah, right, and Oprah's a size 0.

On the Democratic side we have Barry Soetoro, Jr. Oh, sorry Barack Hussein Obama, Jr. I can tell you nothing about this man. His grades and the papers that he wrote while at Harvard Law School, Columbia University, and Occidental College have been expunged, his law degree was used only briefly and was then revoked, again I don't know why. The first political office he ran for he won by having everyone else disqualified, therefore he didn't have to stand for anything. He has multiple social security numbers, each with a different name, again, why? He's a community organizer but will not mention which community or what he's organized. He voted present instead of for or against anything and he's black, white, or Irish, depending on who his audience is.

So that's my choices. As the field is whittled down with the caucuses maybe a choice will become more clear.

Or maybe I will just write in the name 'John Adams.'

End of the World Stuff, Real Wrath of God, Mass Hysteria, Cats and Dogs Living Together

According to the Mayans, the world will end on December 21^st of this year. According to Al Gore, the combustion engine is killing the Earth. According to my arthritis, there’s a storm coming.

What’s my point? Anyone can say anything and someone somewhere will believe.

Remember Y2K? On January 1, 2000, the computers were supposed to get confused and not know what millennia it was.

Remember Terrence Trent D’arby? His 1987 album The Hardline According to Terrance Trent D’arby was so successful he declared he was bigger than the Beatles. But then John Lennon declared that the Beatles were bigger than Jesus Christ.

The world is full of nuts spewing misinformation to a world of self centered retards who believe anything and everything.

So will the world end of 12/21/12?

If there were a chance of that happening, a politician would be raising awareness about an end of the world bill they are putting through Congress.

I have more predictions. Al Gore will bloat up to 400 lbs and become a has been-millions will still believe him.

Our drive for Socialism will finally extinguish the remaining sparks of life in lady liberty that has been slowly beaten out of her for one hundred years.

My arthritis will be in a close race with the government to see which one can cause me the most pain.

The world, as well as false prognosticators, will go on.

Doing For Others

When we stand before God on the Judgment Day-can we say we have done all we ought?

Paul tells us in Ephesians 2:10 “for we are His workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good

works.” We have a job to do. Let us grow our knowledge in Jesus so we can accomplish our

job.

The title of this blog is doing for others: what I mean is we should tell others of His glory. As believers of the only true and living God, that is our duty and the more we know the more we must tell.

John calls God ‘the light’ and that there is no darkness in Him. Are you tired of walking in darkness?

So we know He is light. What else should we know?

“Wisdom is found on the lips of him who has understanding” (Proverbs 10:13), but also “wise people store up knowledge” (Proverbs 10:14). It doesn’t take degrees to confer wisdom, generally the opposite is true. The only true source of wisdom is found in Heaven.

However, as we grow in Christ, we must do more for God. Again, using Paul’s words, this time in 1^stCorinthians “I, brethren, could not speak to you as to spiritual peoplebut as to carnal, as to babes in Christ. I fed you with milk and not with solid food; for until now you were not able to receive it.” When we are new to Christ, we are like babies, as we grow in our knowledge and relationship with Christ, we know more and are expected to do more. I don’t mean God needs our help: far from it. He does however want us to help. He wants us to witness, to do outreach, to minister, each thing we do should be a building on the last we have done.

So what can you do? What are your strengths? What are your weaknesses? What are your limitations? Pray for guidance as to where He will have you go. When you are assured of how you can serve, put on the armor of God, and go to work.